Wednesday, September 12, 2012

The Confession

I've been making excuses!

My big one has been my family.  Yes, the kids are needy, demand attention and always seem to have another activity.  But that doesn't mean that I need to give up my dreams or even put them on the back burner for the next ten years.  I can make the time while they are at school and not fritter it away doing who knows what.  I can quickly keep the house reasonably clean -- it's small and my standards have never been high. We said goodbye to Netflix instant play along with no cable, so watching TV is no longer a distraction.  Evenings can be productive and a nice time to connect with hubby at the end of the day.

Exercise, that's been another big excuse over the last year.  I finally managed to loose all that baby weight and get back down to my ideal weight.  It took a lot of time though, like several hours a day a lot of time.  I'm not giving up my yoga classes, but I probably don't need to go to the YMCA 3 times a day and come home too tired to do anything else.  I do still have the goal of running a marathon before my 40th birthday at the end of next year so I will need to continue running, a lot.  But it can't be an excuse not to think about my art for weeks (or months) at a time.

But the real reasons I've been hiding have nothing to do with time.  More like FEAR.  Fear of failure.  Fear of success.  Fear of the unknown.  It's time to let that go.  What do I really have to loose?  Maybe my pride, but would that really be a bad thing.  I'm nervous and excited because it's time!

While I'm at it, I might as well share the state of my kitchen floor. It needs a good washing, but that's not going to stop me!


Deborah Boschert said...

Hooray! This is your new manifesto! I'm so eager to see how this next chapter in your life and your art turns out.

Del said...

WOW! You are one brave lady showing your kitchen floor. I'm afraid I will have to wash mine before I become permanently stuck! Quilting is much more important, but then I live alone and have no one to please but myself. That helps. Please set aside some Nikki time to be creative, even if the floor stays dirty!